Days of Our Lives

I’m currently watching Days of Our Lives and part of me really can’t believe I’m sitting on my bed and have been binging it the last few days while I’ve been trying to get over the latest illness my immune system has decided to let infect me.

I actually have a weird history with Days of Our Lives in that it was the soap opera my mom use to watch when I was child. I remember seeing stories about Hope and Bo and Gina, of Sami Brady and her brother Eric (at the time being portrayed by a very young Jensen Ackles), and basically just watching it at times when I would be home with my mom.  I think I will always associate Jensen Ackles and Alison Sweeney with Days of Our Lives, not because they didn’t do other stuff, I mean hello, Jensen Ackles is Dean Freaking Winchester, but because those were the roles that I always identify them with first.

I honestly hadn’t thought about soap operas in years.  My mom watched Days and Sunset Beach, my uncle had a thing for Passions, the hair salon I went to would always have General Hospital and All My Children on, and my grandmother had her telenovelas.  Granted I was a kid so I really didn’t have time for day time television and even in college when I had classes at all times of the day, I did usually put a movie on and not paid attention to it.  It’s only in the last few years that I’ve kind of starting to really pay attention due to my editing work at the Daytime Emmy awards.

Then last summer I was working from home for about 3 months while my mom recovered from back surgery and was on 24 hour watch. During the day I needed something mindless to watch while I was working and I ended up watching Days of Our Lives and I got sucked in. I wanted to know more about the drama between Sonny, Will and Paul.  I wanted to know what was going to happen between Abby, Chad, and Stephan. The weird love not-triangle between Ciara, Tripp and Claire and not to mention all of the insane family issues and relationships that make up Salem. It took me going back to work and getting sucked into the normal chaos of my office to stop following the show.

And here I am almost a year later, sitting on my bed, suffering from some kind of viral infection, getting ready to look for a new job and watching Days of Our Lives. I’ve been sucked back into the drama of Salem and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing.  Though I can admit that I’ve been yelling at my TV a lot which isn’t a good thing because then I start coughing.  I keep texting a friend of mine about the insanity of it and he keeps laughing at me for it but I seriously can’t believe what has happened in a year since I last watched the show.  Paul has left, Teresa and Tate seem to be gone, Brady and Eve aren’t together, Gaby is still trying to get back at Stephan, Abigail and Chad have left for Paris, Lucas is gone. Loni and EJ seem to be a couple, Tripp and Claire seem to be on and off, Ciara and Ben are working out to the surprise of everyone, Rafe and Hope are married, Marlena and John are married, Sonny and Will want to be together but Sonny is with Leo and OMG there is SO MUCH DRAMA.

OT:Personal Life Bullshit

This is an off topic post that has very little to do with movies, books or tv shows and more about some personal life bullshit. Just giving a fair warning if you decide to keep reading.

Its been over a year since I’ve last posted anything and not because I haven’t wanted to but rather due to lack of drive and suffering from some issues that include bouts of depression, self-criticism, low self-esteem, low self-worth and some self loathing.  Yea, my head has been an awesome place to be for the last year and I think I’m finally in a some what good place to start writing again.  This isn’t to say, I haven’t had my opinions about things in the last year, I just haven’t been motivated or inspired to actually sit in front of my computer and start writing.

I’ve made a list of some things that I knew I needed to change in my life to get better though some of them are a bit hard because I dont have the finances to make them happen but hopefully it wont prevent me for too much longer.   Fun fact, one of the things that put me in a tail spin is the fact that I’ve got terrible luck/taste in men and some how I always pick that one guy that I think is gonna be different and they are all the same.

Which incidentally is also what has given me the kick in the butt to start writing again.  Many, many, many moons ago I was in a relationship that in a lot of ways has fucked me up in how I’ve handled all of my future relationships and how I, myself, act and behave.  One of the things that happened during that relationship was the fact that my s.o. disliked my friends and basically had me isolated from them because he never wanted to hang out with them and would get upset when I did.  Its one of the things that I’ve tried very hard to nip in the bud in any relationship I’ve been in since (which has led to some very interesting stories) and have worked to make sure its not something that I’ve pulled on any one in return.

Which brings me to my point, in the last few months I’ve been talking to this guy  on and off and we have a lot in common.  There’s been seriously flirting going on but at the same time its like he never wants to go out with me.  I’ve asked him out 4 times now; 1st time he cancelled due to personal issues, 2nd time I knew it was highly unlikely he would be able to go because it was super short noticed and times 3 & 4, well he’s basically ignored the question.  But during all of this I’ve come to realize that I literally wait all day to hear from him and see what he is going to say next and maybe this time he will answer my question, and yea the list goes on.  This behavior drives me crazy too because I use to rag on girls that acted like this.  I hate that I’m constantly checking my phone and waiting on pins and needles for him to send anything to me.  I had an epiphany of sorts today and realized that I use to do tons of stuff before I got in this weird crazy rut, and not just because of this guy, but in general.

I use to be able to sit in front of my screen and just zone as I write but now its an uphill battle a lot of the time to even open a word doc.   So I’m trying to get back in the swing of things, I’m trying to not look at my phone every few seconds and maybe I can send out a few vibes to the universe for him to make an effort or some kind of decision so I can get out of this limbo/purgatory that I feel like I’m stuck in all the time with him.

But I can say one thing for him, at least he gave me the kick in the pants to start writing again.

WTF am I watching? Grey’s Anatomy Edition

I watch a lot of TV….a lot.  Almost as much as I watch movies or read books. In fact I’ve got a giant to-be-read pile, a long list of things to watch in my netflix queue of both movie and tv variety plus a handful of other shows on other streaming services as well as movies that I haven’t seen and want to.  That being said, occasionally someone or something will convince me to put all of my very long to-read/to-watch lists aside and watch/read something else entirely.  In this particular case it is to watch and the show that I can’t believe I’m fucking watching is Grey’s Anatomy.

Grey’s Anatomy has never been my medical show of choice, hell I grew up on Chicago Hope and ER.  I mean ER introduced me to the wonders that is Noah Wyle and I watched the last episode of ER on my sofa of the apartment I shared with my boyfriend at the time, killing an entire bottle of champagne because he missed our anniversary.  But that’s not the point, I’ve watched a variety of medical shows from Doogie Howser to Chicago Med to Royal Pains to The Night Shift, but never has the urge to watch Grey’s Anatomy.  I mean I’ve got friends that watch it and my sister-in-law loved the show so much that we would buy the seasons on DVD for her when she was pregnant with various nephews but not me.

So what changed? Abigail Spencer and fucking YouTube. I watch promos and trailers and sneak peaks on YouTube, and one of the shows I watch trailers and promos for is Timeless. Do you know who stars in Timeless? Abigail Spencer. You know who has a character arc on Grey’s Anatomy this season as Megan Hunt, Owen Hunt’s M.I.A sister? Abigail Spencer.  So guess what shows up on my YouTube page the other day? That’s right, a promo for an episode of Grey’s Anatomy with Abigail Spencer so of course I end up watching it which leads me down the rabbit hole of videos of various scenes from Grey’s Anatomy featuring her which lead me eventually to a top ten funniest moments of the show which eventually led me to a video of Meredith and Mark talking about the ‘Dirty Mistresses Club’ in an elevator.

So me being me, I googled the phrase ‘Dirty Mistresses Club’ and found fanfiction, which is my go to thing.  And I found this amazing fanfiction that was apparently completely AU (sadly) and I’ve read it about 4 times now and its a Mark/Meredith story about them being friends prior to her going to med school and basically tells a completely different take on the series.  Of course this has then led me to actually feeling the need to watch and holy the series so I know more about the characters and can make my own opinion.

One week later I’m now on season 5 and I’m driving my best friend crazy because I keep ranting this freaking show to her.  Because OH MY GOD do I have opinions about this show and rants and some really unpopular thoughts.  Thoughts like Derek Shepard aka McDreamy needs to get dick punched a lot in season 1 – 4, especially when he acts like Meredith should be more understanding about his hidden wife. Thoughts like Izzie is a fucking bitch and everyone else needs to tell her to grow the fuck up. Thoughts like I can’t wait for Izzie to get off this fucking series because she irritates the fuck out of me and I especially hate her for the shit she pulls with Alex and George and oh yea that completely unethical bullshit with Denny. Thoughts like I completely admire and respect Shonda Rhimes for creating interesting, diverse, damaged, and realistic women BUT why must they always stay with that first great love that we see them with. She has them keep going back to these men and I guess it because its suppose to be realistic but ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.  I really think Derek and Meredith are terrible together (granted I’m only on Episode 4 of season 5) and I think it would have been so much interesting to see Meredith with Alex or Mark (I blame fanfiction for this one again) or Owen Hunt, but no, she always goes back to fucking Derek.  And yes I know what happens to him and yes I know he’s gone in later seasons but I’m talking about currently not in 6 more seasons or whatever.  I just dont get why so many people think he’s so great and wonderful. Granted my taste in men is questionable since I do like Mark Sloan and Alex Karev which seems to be the norm for my taste in men.

The point of this post is that I’m not 100% sure how it happened exactly or why I keep watching it but I’ve become rather invested in at least fucking finishing this show.

Being late to the Game of Thrones wagon

One of the things that my friends like to tease me about is how I’m always behind on popular shows.  It started in college when I never had time to watch my shows as they aired so I would wait until it came out on DVD to buy and watch them.  Since college ended, I haven’t changed much in my viewing habits in that I’m still always at least a season behind on a show even if I catch the occasional episode as it airs.

When Game of Thrones aired I never saw it live because I didn’t have HBO then and honestly I still don’t. I don’t remember how I ended up with season 1 but it must have been either from Target or at a gift exchange because it doesn’t show up on my past Amazon orders but I know I hadn’t watched it yet. I know I didn’t start watching it till after February 2013 because I had ordered a box set of the 1st four books and the 2nd season.   I started watching the 1st season not long after that only to stop after 2 or 3 episodes to read the books.

Fun fact I did that with True Blood, where I watched an episode before deciding to read the books first. So there I am reading the first book going ‘oh my god, this is so good.  I can’t wait to read the 2nd one.’ and then I stop.  I forgot about the 2nd book and the show because life got busy and I had other things I was reading and watching.  I could keep up with what was going on because we are in the age of social media which means that no sooner does something happen on a show, does it appear online.  And I could infer enough that no one realized I haven’t actually read all the books or seen the series and I was okay with that because again, too busy.   That hasn’t stopped me from buying the sets on DVD/Blu-ray when they come out though.

It was announced this year that Game of Thrones would finish after season 8 and the hype of season 7 has become ridiculous.  So much so that I have finally decided that I need to sit and watch the entire series before the season finally or rather before Saturday night when I’m having dinner with a bunch of friends that all watch the show religiously and have found out that I’m not keeping up.

So I’ve been watching it and am on Season 3 currently (almost half way there) and I have to say that part of me likes the show because it makes me think of European history in particularly English history during the War of the Roses.  Let’s talk about drama, intrigue, betrayal and scandal because the War of the Roses had it from the time Edward IV took the throne to Henry VII seizing the throne at Bosworth field.  And as I watch this show, it makes me think of that but on a much much larger scale.  I remember reading or hearing somewhere that George R. R. Martin took his inspiration for the series from English history and I can honestly believe that.

And as I watch the show, there are characters that I’ve come to like and I’ve come to dislike and times I want to shout at the screen about them being so dumb.  The thing is that I know Martin is an evil man that likes to toy with his fans and likes to kill off anyone at any time that pleases him, so I try not to get too attached to certain characters but it can’t be helped.

Here are some thoughts I had while watching the first 3 seasons:

  • Ned Stark is too damn honorable for his own damn good.
  • Catelyn Stark is a massive bitch and I really dislike her
  • Robb’s an idiot ruled by his dick
  • Sansa is a foolish little girl that was spoiled by her mother and given unrealistic views and expectations on love, marriage, songs and stories about knights and great deeds.
  • Arya is gonna either be a stone cold killer by the end of the series or she is going to end up committing suicide while taking out the biggest number of her enemies at once. OR she end up a warrior woman that seduces men left and right till one of them is wily enough to catch her and claim her as his own.
  • Theon is a backstabbing coward and while I type this, he is getting tortured and I can’t really watch it because I’m not a fan of torture period.
  • Joffrey is a full fledge psychopath and should have been stripped of his title and banished before he could even become king.  He actually makes me think of Henry VIII but with more of a sadistic side because he is never really told the word ‘no’ and given boundaries.
  • Cersei is a bitter vindictive bitch.  She’s angry that she didn’t marry Rhaegar Targaryen, she’s angry that she was forced to marry Robert Baratheon, she’s angry she can’t be the ruler of Westros that she feels she can be.  She’s pissed that her son is no longer under her thumb, that Margaery Tyrell is one her way to taking her title and crown, giving her even less power.  Honestly her father should have married her off as soon as it was appropriate and stopped letting her think she had the power.
  • Tyrion is fucking awesome.  Like the dude should have some how figured out a way to take his sister out of power, kill his father, and not let his psychopathic nephew claim the throne.  He’s one of the few that I hope survives this insanity.
  • Daenerys is so tragic. I really feel like if Drogo and her son hadn’t died, she would have never cared about the Iron Throne and probably wouldn’t have “birthed” her dragons. But they did and now she is on her way to Westros to claim her birthright and rain dragon fire upon all her enemies.
  • Jamie is fucking idiot too.  Like he’s so whipped by his sister that its ridiculous.  He’s also treated unfairly for doing the right thing but then again that happens to a lot of people.  I would love to see him just say ‘fuck this shit’ and leave.  Either that or for him to stop bowing down to his sisters wants and needs and take control of his own life.
  • Petyr Baelish is fucking evil.  He’s the one that I hope has the most satisfying death for the audience to watch.  He’s to blame for pretty much everything and one on hand I can’t wrap my brain around it and on the other, you gotta give the man props.


That’s all I got for the moment but I’m sure I will have another post after I finish watching the rest of the series.

Winter is Coming” –  words of House Stark

Star Wars Day

Today is known as Star Wars day because of the play on the words May the Force be with you becoming May the Fourth be with you and like the Star Wars fan/nerd that  I am, this day is pretty big and awesome to me.  I think I’ve been a Star Wars fan longer than I’ve been alive and it has played a huge role in my life.

I remember the first time I saw Star Wars was when I was about 5 or so and it was Christmas Eve and I had just woken up in my uncle’s room at my grandparents house.  I was recovering from an ear infection (I had a lot of those as a child) and I remember making my way out to the living room and there on the screen was R2D2 on Tatooine before being captured by the Jawas and from that moment on I was sucked into the Star Wars universe. I remember being one of the only girls in my elementary school to watch to watch Star Wars when I was in 1st grade and we were doing a whole school (which was about 75 max) movie watching event.  I remember when I fell into the expanded universe novels when I was 9 years old and I remember when two of the boys in my 6th grade class joined me in looking at the newspaper ads for the Phantom Menace.  A group of my girlfriends and I ditched school the Friday Star Wars Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith came out even though it meant we might be banned from prom.  I remember crying when Chewie was crushed by a moon and throwing the book that killed Anakin Solo across my room and bawling my eyes out. I grew up looking up to Princess Leia and Jaina Solo and Mara Jade because they were some of the most fierce badass women I’ve ever read about.

I remember going ‘fuck this’ after finishing the New Jedi Order series because I couldn’t take anymore heart ache and pain. Meanwhile I still enjoyed on Star Tours as Disneyland and watching the movies and introducing friends and family to the joy of Star Wars. In the last few years with Disney gaining the rights to Star Wars and discussion of new movies coming out, I’ll admit that I’ve kept myself on the fence because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be excited or not. Which of course is when information on episode 7 started to come out and news that Han, Leia and Luke were coming back.  Of course they also announced everything prior to 2014 was no longer cannon and honestly that felt like a giant fuck you to people like me that had spend years following the expanded universe in books and games and shows.  Of course they started to release new books and I sat on the fence but of course being the sucker and push over that I am, I got hooked again. My cousin was able to get into a Star Wars event that was happening 2 weeks before Episode 7 was due to be released and I got to meet John Boyega, Oscar Isaac and Daisy Ridley for an oh so brief moment but the hype was building in me.  The Force Awakens both got my excited to see what happens next and tore my heart out in ways I wasn’t expecting and I had no idea what to expect next.  Of course this is when they announce the next movie wasn’t Episode 8 but rather a prequel to A New Hope.  

Rogue One was so freaking good, I mean of course it had its issues but I went in knowing exactly how it was gonna end and it was amazing and I loved it.  I saw it 3 times in theaters and while I type this post I’m watching it again.  It answered a lot questions about things like how Princess Leia got the stolen plans for the Death Star and gave another face to the rebellion we hadn’t seen before.  It also is the movie that starts to build hope in me, especially in this political climate.

I also can’t talk about Star Wars without mentioning my princess and my general, Carrie Fisher.  You can’t talk about Star Wars without talking about the amazing person that was Carrie Fisher.  I was in shock when I heard about her death and even now I still get teary eyes because Princess Leia really was the first badass woman I remember looking up to, I wanted to be her when I grew up. And the more I learned about Carrie Fisher as a person and not just the woman that personified Princess Leia, the more I admired, respected and looked up to her.  She will always be missed and I think it will be quite a few years before I can watch a Star Wars movie without tearing up just a little bit.

The last reason that Star Wars day means a lot to me is because its also my dad’s birthday and there isn’t a man that I don’t love, respect or admire more than my dad. My dad is the one who introduced me to science fiction and would sit there and watch the movies with me when I was a child. I like to find him Star Wars birthday cards and I like to think he finds them to be just a little bit humorous.  I know its silly but part of me also likes to think that everyone is also celebrating my dad because why shouldn’t they? My dad is fucking awesome and deserves to be celebrated.

Side note: drinking wine and watching the end of Rogue One makes me really emotional and teary eyed.

But yea, Star Wars. Its a lot of science fiction and a lot of fantasy and its wonderful and amazing and it has changed people’s lives.  It gives hope to people that don’t have any, it inspires people and on May 25th it will 40 years since Star Wars: A New Hope was released in theaters.  And in the words of Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso “Rebellions are built on hope.” and I think we could all use a little hope right now.

“May the Force Be With You”


Hello! Welcome to my blog.

I’ve been thinking about creating this blog for awhile now and I feel like its finally time for me to make this happen. Mainly because I’ve got a lots of thoughts about things that I read, watch and love or you know things I want to rant about because again I’ve got a lot of opinions about things. Thus, the nugget was placed in my mind till it grew and grew and I was like ‘I’ll make a blog and people may or may not read it but its gonna happen.’

This blog is gonna be writing about books, movies, tv shows and anything else that strikes my fancy. I’m a huge book reader and lover, I love movies and I love tv and I’ve got strong feelings about lots of things. This is gonna be a blog full of things that I love and a mix of nerdy and geeky things as well.

Enjoy a look into my life and the things I love.